Dubai bubbles up humour mills

Dubai bubbles up humour mills
Business Standard, November 30, 2009, Page 16

Press Trust Of India / Dubai

‘The Sun Never Sets on Dubai World’, claims the logo of the state-owned conglomerate of the Gulf city government. That’s why it got burnt under towering debts.

This may not be funny for those who have actually burnt their fingers and much more in Dubai’s debt repayment crisis, but many others are finding humour in the problem being faced by the West Asian city.

This is just one of the many jokes that have started doing the rounds over the internet and through SMSes, poking fun at the tagline of Dubai World, the flaghip investment holding company of the Dubai government.

“True to our claim — The Sun Never Sets on Dubai World — our investment portfolio extends across 100 different cities in the world,” a banner continues to scream on the website of Dubai World, even as it has expressed its inability to pay in time $59 billion in debts and has sought time till at least May to meet these obligations.

The humour mills go a step further saying ‘Dubai is offering one celebrity free with each apartment purchased in its posh real estate properties’. Various realty projects like The Palm and The World, being developed on man-made islands have shot to fame with many celebrity purchasers, whose names have been extensively used to lure non-celeb buyers.

These include stars from Hollywood, Bollywood and sports. However, these celebrities are also said to be sitting on huge losses, as the value of these properties plunged sharply, first due to the global financial crisis and now with this latest crisis.

Another joke goes something like this — ‘How do you define optimism? It is a realtor building luxury apartments in Dubai and expecting it would be sold.’

The next talks about how the US was saved from the carnage when markets in almost all other countries witnessed tremors of Dubai crisis. ‘There is a new reason to celebrate Thanksgiving day— that is to thank Dubai for disclosing its crisis on this day when markets were closed in the US.

PS: Dubai and other Mid-East markets were also saved as they were also closed for Eid.’

Another joke says: ‘Dubai was building high-rise buildings in the middle of the sea (referring to projects like The Palm and The World). As recession made cement expensive and those working on projects were corrupt contractors from India, the bricks were put together only with sand and without cement. The result: All collapsed and even sand dunes were washed away.’

The humourists are also seeing cash-strapped airlines rushing to start flights on the long-neglected Kerala sector as a host of Malayalis could return to India soon.

There is also a new definition for Dubai: It’s a place visited by those with money to meet those with experience. At the end of the visit, they exchange their assets.

Another SMS asks: How many Arabs does it take for a deal? The answer is two — first to make the drawing of a building on sand and another to sell it before wind blows it away.

One about a person just back from Dubai asks the difference between a Dubai-return and a large pizza. The answer: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

And making you laugh at the cost of yet another Dubai- return quotes him as saying: “This crisis is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”